Woman Supported for Saying She 'Hates' Being Pastor's Wife: 'I'm Only 22'

Commenters supported a young woman who said she feels like she "wasted" her life and regrets marrying a pastor at 18-years-old.

The anonymous woman, known only as u/Artistic_Tale_9481, posted about her situation on Reddit's popular r/TrueOffMyChest subreddit where it received more than 13,000 upvotes and 2,000 comments. The post can be found here.

According to the Institute for Family Studies, religious Americans are more likely to get married before 30.

IFS reported that over the last 40 years, women with non-religious backgrounds get married at around 25, religious women at around 24, and women with Evangelical Protestant upbringings wed at around 23.5.

In the post titled "I hate being the pastor's wife," the woman, 22, said her regrets started after she downloaded TikTok. She said she "saw how differently women live their everyday lives" and that all she's ever known was church and her church friends.

"I want out," the post read. "I'm sure everyone in my church thinks that I have the perfect life. I married the youth pastor who's now the pastor, we have three beautiful children ages 3, 2, and 10 months with a fourth on the way."

The woman said she met her husband, 29, at church when he was her youth pastor. She said she never dated anyone else and that she waited until marriage to have sexual intercourse.

"The sex was good after a while but now it's just another chore. Looking back on it I wish we never met," the post read. "That I got to grow up and experience more."

She added that people probably think she has a perfect life since the children are "well behaved," she spends all day with the children and travels with the family on mission trips.

"I feel absolutely suffocated," the post read. "I want to wear a bikini, drink a girly cocktail, go to a nightclub and dance. I want to experience all these things I've been told not to do."

The woman said she wants a husband that doesn't think helping around the house is the "wife's duty." She also said she wants her own bank account and to be allowed to take her own car for a drive wherever she desires.

"My body is exhausted. I love our kids but being pregnant for nearly 4 years straight is exhausting," the post read. "I just feel like I'm just a toy for my husband to play house with. I can't use birth control, that's not 'God's plan.'"

More than 2,000 users commented on the post, many encouraging the woman to live her life the way she wants to since she is so young.

"If you feel this way at 22 just imagine what you'll feel like at 42," one user commented. "If you're not happy with your life the time to change it is now rather than later. It goes by fast."

"You have too much life ahead to be miserable already," another user commented.

"The church you describe sounds more like a cult to me," another user commented. "I hate to suggest this, but I think that your best choice might be to acquire help from a domestic violence shelter to find appropriate resources for you and your children."

Other users offered up advice for birth control options to prevent any more pregnancies.

"When you need to make your next OB appointment, wait to do it when your husband is gone for the day. Talk to someone at your doctor's office that you trust," one user suggested. "Come up with a plan that on your next visit there will be a reason your doctor needs to see you in the room privately without the husband. Then ask the doctor to tie your tubes after you deliver."

The woman replied, saying someone suggested the arm implant which he probably wouldn't notice.

"I think you can still breastfeed with it, and anything has to be better than my previous method of hiding a turkey baster in the bathroom to try to get everything out," she wrote.

"You even tried a turkey baster? :/ girl, I am so sorry you have to live like this," another commented.

"Find a women's advocacy representative. They can help you navigate an escape plan using resources you might not know you have," another suggested. "They do this a lot."

Newsweek reached out to u/Artistic_Tale_9481 for comment.

In another viral Reddit post, a man was criticized for ordering his wife to make him dinner at 2 a.m.

Another man was called "manipulative" by Reddit users after he got angry at his wife for making two different meals.

A woman was praised on Reddit for changing the Wi-Fi password and refusing to give it to her husband until he started to help pay for it.

Uncommon Knowledge

Newsweek is committed to challenging conventional wisdom and finding connections in the search for common ground.

Newsweek is committed to challenging conventional wisdom and finding connections in the search for common ground.

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